|       school: A place where Papa pays and Son     plays.             Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all     your life so that you can die Rich.       Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give     you sleeping pills.             Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his     bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.       Tears: The hydraulic force by which     masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.             Lecture: An art of transferring information from the     notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through     'the minds of either'       Conference: The confusion of one man     multiplied by the number present.       Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in     such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.       Dictionary: A place where success comes     before work.       Conference Room: A place where everybody talks,     nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.       Father: A banker provided by nature.             Boss: Someone who is     early when you are late and late when you are early.       Politician: One who shakes your hand before     elections and your Confidence after.       Doctor: A person who kills your ills by     pills, and kills you by bills.       Classic: Books, which people praise, but     do not read.       Smile: A curve that can set a lot of     things straight.       Office: A place where you can relax     after your strenuous home life.       Yawn: The only time some married men     ever get to open their mouth.             Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than     you actually do.       Committee: Individuals who can do nothing     individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.       Experience: The name men give to their     mistakes.       Atom     Bomb:     An     invention to end all inventions.                 Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life,     to be wise after death       |